How to Improve Your Child's Behavior: Expert-Approved Techniques (2023)

Many parents find it difficult to distinguish typical child behavior from atypical child behavior. Sometimes all children exhibit misbehavior as a standard part of child development, so it can be difficult to understand where the line is. Regardless, one thing is certain: most parents want to know how to encourage good behavior in their children.

In general, positive attention for good behavior and effective consequences for negative behavior can go a long way. However, every child is different. So what do you need to know to improve your child's behavior?

In this article, we take a look at understanding typical child behavior and ways to improve your child's behavior, including how Joon can help. Then we'll go over tips for rewarding children's good behavior.

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(Video) 6 Effective Parenting Strategies for Handling Negative Behaviour in Children

Understand typical behavior in children

It is important to know and understand the typical behavior of children. Your child's age and developmental level play a role in their behavior. Younger children in particular sometimes push the limits and test them. A young child, out of natural curiosity and a willingness to experiment, may exhibit misbehavior here and there. With that in mind, some "bad" behavior is to be expected at a lower level.

The context also plays a role. During times of high stress, children may be more prone to misbehavior that would be unacceptable the rest of the time. This differs from persistent or abnormal misconduct, which may require specific techniques and professional assistance. When should a parent or family worry? Any dangerous behavior that can harm yourself or others should not be ignored. In this case, mental health support from a counselor, therapist, social worker or psychologist can be helpful.

If your child has ADHD or another condition, develop an understanding of your child's symptoms and why they occur, as there may be a need to manage a child's behavior more productively. ADHDmay coexist with other disorders. This may in some cases be relevant to a child's behavior.

How to improve your child's behavior

If power struggles arise in your family, you are not alone. The right approach can help make your home calmer for both you and your child. You may be surprised at what practices are most helpful to your family. Here are some ways parents can encourage better behavior in children.

Try to help Joon

Joon is a homework app and game that encourages good behavior in children. Designed for kids with ADHD and related disorders, Joon is a great way to reduce power struggles, boost self-esteem, and encourage healthy habits. Thats how it works:

Adults first register with the Joon Parent app and create a personalized to-do list for their kids. You can add unlimited tasks including chores, chores, personal hygiene activities or any other part of your child's routine. Kids connect to a separate app called Joon Pet Game. As kids complete tasks, they receive rewards that allow them to take care of a virtual pet named Doter and advance in the game.

90% of kids using Joon complete all tasks assigned by adults. Many parents say that Joon improved their father-son relationship. Joon has an average rating of 4.7 stars out of 5 on the App Store, with over 4,000 reviews from parents like you.

(Video) Behaviour Issue And Behaviour Therapy | Assistant Child Psychologist -Akansha A |Aster RV |BlueJays

Click here to try it for free.

Notice the desired behavior and praise it

Rewarding good behavior is a great way to improve your child's overall behavior. When a child misbehaves frequently, it's important to remember the need to reward good behavior. Even with small wins, give your child positive reinforcement.

Get to know your triggers

We all have triggers that can affect our behavior, including children. Try to spot patterns affecting your child. For example, do tiredness, hunger or sensory overload make an outbreak more likely? Once you know what a child's triggers are, you can create a game plan and set them up for success. Depending on what they are, this could mean avoiding certain triggers or finding ways to control them.

If you need help identifying patterns and triggers,Try behavior or tantrum tracking apps.

Provide direct expectations for specific behaviors.

A critical component of effective parenting is not relying on common sense in parenting your child. If you want your child to do something, be specific.

For example, if you want them to put toys off the floor in their toy basket, you can say "put your toys in this basket" instead of just "tidy up your room." If you want kids to do multi-step tasks like For example, when tidying up her room, it can be helpful to break down each step into several smaller, more specific steps.

Explain all behavioral expectations equally clearly, whether you want a child to speak softly in a particular environment or something else. Don't assume your child understands what's between the lines.

(Video) How To Stop A Tantrum By A Board Certified Behavior Analyst

Be a role model for positive behavior

Model the behavior you want to see, remembering not to engage in the behaviors you want your child to stop. For example, raising your voice makes it harder for a child to stop. You may feel confused and will certainly question double standards.

Likewise, if you make a mistake, apologize and forward yourself as you wish. When you show a child that they can apologize and change their behavior, you are showing them that they can do the same.

teach coping skills

All children should learn about emotions and healthy coping skills. Help your child learn coping skills that can help with self-control and strong feelings, such as: B. Breathing exercises or apologizing when you are angry and need a break.

Don't ignore challenging behavior

While it's true that many children prefer negative attention to inattention, and that it can be okay not to pay attention to your child because of some bad behaviors, it's also important not to ignore themchallenging or dangerous behavior. If a child is misbehaving, deal with it to the best of your ability.

Depending on the situation and the family, this can be anything from gently informing the child of their mistake and helping correct the behavior, to allowing for natural consequences, to concrete, explained consequences for your child.

Just as you want to clearly explain rewards and expectations, effective consequences need to be explained. Explain the consequences to your child. For example, instead of just saying, "You're on time off," tell them why.

solve problems together

Sometimes parents and children have the opportunity to find a solution together. Children struggling with impulsivity may say, "I didn't mean to do this, it just happened" or "I couldn't control myself." It's not an excuse, but it gives you the opportunity to find a solution together. Listen actively. If a child is constantly struggling with certain things, you can consider replacement behaviors during a quiet time.

keep promises

Make sure what you say and what you do is consistent. Children need to know that they can take your word for it. If you say you will provide a reward or consequence for a certain behavior but don't, they learn that they can't trust your words and are less likely to work.

(Video) How to Raise Successful Kids -- Without Over-Parenting | Julie Lythcott-Haims | TED

Tips for rewarding good behavior

We talked a bit about how important it isGive your child positive reinforcement.and reward desired behavior, but how do you do that? Here are some tips to reward good behavior in children.

Choose rewards that work

For rewards to work, you need to choose effective rewards that will appeal to your child. Consider your child's age and interests and what makes sense for their current age group or developmental level. Some of the ideas for rewards for children include:

  • A token system. With token systems, kids can accumulate tokens over time and exchange them for bigger rewards when they have enough, like a new piece of clothing for school or a concert. This can be ideal for older children and teenagers.
  • Go to bed later. Some children may be motivated by a reward, e.g. B. staying up half an hour later.
  • screen time. For example, an extra hour of video game time, computer time, or time to watch a TV show.
  • Experiences and activities For example excursions like going to the park.
  • small parts such as stickers.

Think about what will be truly rewarding for your child. Some parents find it helpful to let their child participate in reward decisions, but it may not work for other children.

Give verbal praise

We talked a bit about making sure we don't underestimate the power of positive feedback. Even if it's in conjunction with another reward, be sure to verbally give your child positive feedback. To better encourage your child, praise specific actions. For example, you could say, "That came in handy when you were putting away your toys. Thank you!” This helps children learn what behaviors are desired.

What Causes Bad Behavior in Children?

Again, no child is perfectly behaved all the time. Slight and infrequent misconduct may be normal. But what if the bad behavior is an ongoing or daily problem? More than one factor or cause can explain child misbehavior. If there is an unexplained but steady increase in bad behavior, you should pay attention and investigate it. Note when the behavior changes began and consider whether the following factors might play a role.

  • Unmet emotional needs (for example, one may feel upset, angry, or misunderstood)
  • Unmet physical needs (eg, low blood sugar, lack of sleep)
  • Unmet sensory needs (eg, itchy clothes, too hot or cold, noisy environments)
  • Trauma, increased stress or significant life changes
  • Mental disorders and other diseases

Disorders like ADHD canlead to changed behavior. In this case, in addition to treatment, additional work on the child's behavior may be required. Focus more on coping skills, rewards for good behavior, positive discipline, creating healthy and supportive routines, and learning triggers. Working with a professional, such as a therapist or counselor, can help children change their behavior and understand and manage feelings effectively. This is highly recommended if behavioral or mental health problems persist.


There are ways parents can encourage desired behaviors in children and help them improve their overall behavior. Positive attention in the form of verbal praise, explanations that help children understand desired behavior and the consequences of their actions, and the use of an appropriate reward system can be valuable. For children with ongoing mental or behavioral health problems, seek professional help for support and guidance.


What strategies are used to manage children's behavior? ›

behaviour management strategies for children and adolescents aged from 0–8 years and from 9–18 years . creating family rules and including children in creating family rules. building a positive relationship between parents and children. rewarding desirable behaviour and giving praise.

How can I improve my child's behavior? ›

Dealing with child behaviour problems
  1. Do what feels right. What you do has to be right for your child, yourself and the family. ...
  2. Do not give up. Once you've decided to do something, continue to do it. ...
  3. Be consistent. ...
  4. Try not to overreact. ...
  5. Talk to your child. ...
  6. Be positive about the good things. ...
  7. Offer rewards. ...
  8. Avoid smacking.

What are the 5 principles of behavior management? ›

Golly has identified five universal principles for managing their in-class conduct:
  • Being Respectful.
  • Modeling Behaviors.
  • Having Clear Expectations.
  • Maintaining Routines.
  • Dealing with Chronic Misbehaviors.

What are behavioral learning strategies? ›

Behaviorism learning theory.

Teachers use behaviorism to show students how they should react and respond to certain stimuli. This needs to be done in a repetitive way, to regularly remind students what behavior a teacher is looking for. Positive reinforcement is key in the behavioral learning theory.

What is the best way to change negative child behavior? ›

What can I do to change my child's behavior?
  1. Decide that the behavior is not a problem because it's appropriate to the child's age and stage of development.
  2. Attempt to stop the behavior, either by ignoring it or by punishing it.
  3. Introduce a new behavior that you prefer and reinforce it by rewarding your child.
Jan 1, 1996

How do you fix a strong willed child's behavior? ›

Try empathizing, giving choices, and understanding that respect goes both ways. Looking for win/win solutions rather than just laying down the law keeps strong-willed children from becoming explosive and teaches them essential skills of negotiation and compromise. Strong-willed kids aren't just being difficult.

How do you discipline a child that won't listen? ›

10 healthy discipline strategies that work
  1. Show and tell. Teach children right from wrong with calm words and actions. ...
  2. Set limits. ...
  3. Give consequences. ...
  4. Hear them out. ...
  5. Give them your attention. ...
  6. Catch them being good. ...
  7. Know when not to respond. ...
  8. Be prepared for trouble.
Nov 5, 2018

How do you help a child who is always negative? ›

Encourage your child to make a positive effort when their first reaction is negative. Guide your child to make amends if they have damaged a social relationship with their negative attitude. Help them develop hobbies and interests that they enjoy, and that can relieve or calm a negative mood.

What are the three C's of behavior management? ›

Three C's of Behavior Management: Connection, Communication & Choices.

What are the 7 R's of Behaviour management? ›

'The Seven Rs': Reminders, Records, Rewards, Routines, Relationships, Reflection, and Restructuring.

What are the 4 R's of Behaviour management? ›

The best way to think about and remember behavior intervention is through the 4 Rs: Reduce, Replace, Reinforce and Respond!

What are supportive behaviour techniques? ›

Develop a positive rapport. Establish consistent routines. Remain calm and respond positively during a behaviour. Involve the person in discussing behaviour issues.

What is a behavior improvement plan? ›

A behavior intervention plan (BIP) is a written improvement plan created for a student based on the outcome of the functional behavior assessment (FBA). The FBA should identify what is maintaining or causing a challenging behavior, and the BIP specifies the actions to take to improve or replace the behavior.

What are two behavioral strategies interventions? ›

Examples of Positive Behavior Intervention Strategies

Positive behavior intervention strategies include designing routines, implementing silent signals, assigning tasks, and setting expectations. These strategies help encourage positive behaviors from individuals while simultaneously suppressing negative behaviors.

What is the root cause of behavioral problems? ›

Teachers often refer to 'the root cause' of behaviour. The root cause is the underlying reason, motivation, choice, trigger, factor or instinct that drove the student to behave in a certain manner.

What are 4 behavioral disorders in children? ›

  • BACK. Children's Mental Disorders.
  • Anxiety and Depression.
  • Behavior or Conduct Problems.
  • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
  • Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
  • Home.

What is the most common childhood behavioral disorder? ›

The most common disruptive behaviour disorders include oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), conduct disorder (CD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Boys are more likely than girls to suffer from behavioural disorders.

What are signs of a disrespectful child? ›

Disrespect from children and teens can be shown in a variety of ways - the most common being backtalk, complaining, arguing, attitude, or just plain ignoring.

How do I get my child out of bad influences? ›

Protecting Your Kid
  1. Keep the communication lines open. The best way to handle this kind of situation is by talking to your child honestly and openly. ...
  2. Avoid criticizing their friends. Your initial reaction may be to criticize your kid's friend and tell your kid how they are a bad influence. ...
  3. Set limits and boundaries.

What motivates a strong-willed child? ›

In large part, motivating a strong-willed child involves showing confidence in their intelligence, rather than insulting it. Even when they've slipped up, strong-willed children want freedom to choose how to remedy the situation in the way they think best.

How do you discipline a hard headed child? ›

  1. Don't take this normal phase too personally. ...
  2. Don't punish your child for saying “no.” Punish your child for what she does, not what she says. ...
  3. Give your child plenty of choices. ...
  4. Don't give your child a choice when there is none. ...
  5. Give transition time when changing activities.

Is sending a kid to their room effective? ›

It's one of the oldest and most common discipline methods, but does sending children to their room actually work? Not really, say the experts, but even worse, it could also be teaching them to suppress emotions instead of learning how to deal with them.

How to get kids to listen without nagging yelling or losing control? ›

Offer Warnings When Appropriate. Instead of yelling, give your child a warning when they don't listen. If you use a "when...then" phrase, it lets them know about the possible outcome once they follow through. Say something like, "When you pick up your toys, then you will be able to play with blocks after dinner."

How to change a childs attitude? ›

Here's how:
  1. Avoid responding to the child during or immediately after the behavior.
  2. Never ignore a dangerous or unsafe behavior.
  3. Ignore 'trigger' behaviors like- mimicking, eye rolling, angry statements or smirking (I know, easier said than done. ...
  4. Look for opportunities to insert appropriate praise.

Why is my child always angry and negative? ›

For children, anger issues often accompany other mental health conditions, including ADHD, autism, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and Tourette's syndrome. Genetics and other biological factors are thought to play a role in anger/aggression. Environment is a contributor as well.

What causes negativity in children? ›

As strange as it sounds, negativity and complaining are ways your child manages their anxiety. When your child complains, they feel better because they're expressing themselves and venting their worries and fears. If you don't react to it from your own anxiety, your child will eventually move on.

What are the three C's of discipline? ›

Here's the deal, all the methods in the world won't make a difference if you aren't using the 3 C's of Discipline: Clarity, Consistency, and Consequences.

What is the most successful parenting style? ›

Why experts agree authoritative parenting is the most effective style. Studies have found that authoritative parents are more likely to raise confident kids who achieve academic success, have better social skills and are more capable at problem-solving.

What is the most beneficial parenting style? ›

The parenting style that is best for children is the supportive style. It's a style where you are warm and loving and you're affectionate but you also create structure and boundaries for your children, and you guide their behaviour.

What is behavioral strategies examples? ›

The most commonly used behavioral strategy is by far Check-in/Check-out. This evidence-based method aims to help students improve behavior by having them discuss behavioral expectations and performance with a teacher, mentor, or another educator at the beginning and end of each day.

What kind of strategies helps to teach children with emotional and behavioral disorder? ›

Effective General Teaching Strategies for Behavior Issues
  • Provide a calm environment.
  • Minimize distractions.
  • Emphasize routine.
  • Behavioral expectations should reflect behavioral abilities.
  • Focus on assisting student rather than disciplining.
  • Provide a time out/study area away from the group.
  • Make sure the student feels safe.

What are 5 examples of intervention strategies? ›

Let's take a look at the most commonly used intervention strategies:
  • Behavioural Interventions. ...
  • Collaborative Interventions. ...
  • One-to-One Interventions. ...
  • Classroom-Based Interventions. ...
  • Social, Emotional and Wellbeing Interventions. ...
  • Peer Tutoring. ...
  • Metacognition and Self-Regulation. ...
  • Homework.
Jul 9, 2021

What are the 5 stages of behaviour based strategies? ›

Page 1
  • Stages of behaviour change. ...
  • Pre-contemplative/unaware. ...
  • Contemplative. ...
  • Preparing. ...
  • Action/trying. ...
  • Maintaining. ...
  • Termination/advocacy/transcendence.

What therapy works best for behavioral problems in children? ›

Parent behavior therapy has the strongest evidence as an effective treatment for disruptive behavior problems in children.

What are behavioral interventions in children? ›

Behavioural interventions are used to prevent, manage and treat a range of health conditions in childhood. Behavioural interventions targeting lifestyle behaviours, such as a healthy eating and physical activity,8 can prevent obesity, dental problems and osteoporosis.

What are 3 steps to helping kids control emotions? ›

  1. Validate, Validate, Validate. Start by acknowledging how your child is feeling in the moment. ...
  2. Make a Coping Skills Plan for When Emotions Are Overwhelming. A major part of successful coping is being prepared. ...
  3. Create a Coping Kit. ...
  4. Practice Coping Skills.
Apr 30, 2020


1. Gabor Mate tips for improving self-worth, mindfulness, self-reflection, self-compassion. #selfworth
(Inside Serene)
2. Every Parent Needs To Know This!
(Evolve Your Mind)
3. How to Prevent Bad Behaviour in Children: Tips From Experts
4. Body Language Expert Explains How to Show Confidence | WIRED
5. Consequences of Over Protected Children- Jordan Peterson
6. Ben Shapiro’s Guide To Defend Yourself In An Argument
(Charisma on Command)


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